Alistair lapses back into silence.

I'm sorry, he wants to say again. I'm sorry I get in the way. I'm sorry I fuss. I'm sorry I'm too much, or not enough, or if you think it was a mistake to bring me here --

He swallows down the words -- and the lump in his throat -- and breathes.

(He's trying to remind himself: if the little voice in the back of his head sounds like Goldanna, it's talking nonsense and should be ignored.

It scares him, though, every time a conversation with Cullen deadlocks into tense silence.)