I'm going to kill him, he thinks, with a chilling calmness. Nearly says it aloud until he pictures how Cullen might react. It'd likely be by telling Alistair that no, he can't do that, and Alistair's pretty certain that if he hears that the rage might explode like it hasn't in months, and --

And he needs to keep it together enough to take care of himself. He promised.

He's breathing harshly, a little unsteady, but that's all. Alistair links his fingers with Cullen's in a deliberate effort to stop crushing his knuckles.