Cullen's mouth tightens, eyes still closed.

He shouldn't protest further. It won't help.

I don't know what's wrong with me, he thinks, miserably.

(He's not particularly brave, is the thing. His integrity... well. He knows just how selfish he is, and Alistair ought to know it too. And every time Alistair brings it up -- every time -- Cullen is the one who feels like a liar.)