[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair surprises himself: he adapts to the Basin a lot quicker than he expected.

The camps feel -- snug, he decides. In a good way. Trees overhead, a limited number of egress points, a vantage point so high it puts every night by the ladder to shame: they're not the stone walls of Skyhold, but maybe they're the next best thing. After an initial restless night or two, he sleeps soundly.

(Knowing he's surrounded by lots of people with sharp, pointy weapons? Also helpful.)

Joining the patrol rotations seems like a decent next step. No point in being in the field, especially after all that training with Bull, if he's just going to twiddle his thumbs all day.

Comments

[bringspeopletogether]

"Perhaps. Stranger things have happened, I'm certain."

(Alistair will probably still be fussing the day he leaves for his Calling.)

He touches his lips to Cullen's cheek. "I love you, you know."

[howtoactfereldan]

"I had an inkling." Cullen closes his eyes.







"And now -- you've seen what they've lost." Even softer. "That's enough worry and grief for one lifetime. I can't add to it."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair lets out a breath. He nods, after a moment.

That Cullen distancing himself from his family might cause them just as much worry and grief, if not more -- he's not going to bring up that old argument again. Especially when Cullen's finally letting himself reconnect beyond the short still alive letters, albeit through an intermediary.

It's something. A rather big something, really.

"I know."

[howtoactfereldan]

"You won't...?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Won't what?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"Make her worry?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Of course not," he murmurs. "The opposite, if I can help it at all. I want to make sure she doesn't have to worry about you."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen swallows, nods. He leans his head against Alistair's, eyes closed tight.

"I'm not -- " A little hoarse. "It's not why I asked if you wanted to do this. I wouldn't do that."

[bringspeopletogether]

"I know," he says again, no louder. Gently, he runs one hand along Cullen's back. "I know you wouldn't."

[howtoactfereldan]

"We're sitting by proof I prefer to handle my own correspondence." Trying, again.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Yes." A slight smile. "Mountains and mountains of it. Put it end-to-end and you wouldn't even need ravens. It'd stretch back to Skyhold all on its own."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen is self-aware enough to get better at recognizing when Alistair's penchant for hyperbole isn't a barb aimed at him. (It's almost never. Easy enough.)

So instead of saying but I have to, it's the job, he just nods a little, and tries to push down the feeling that no matter what he does, or how hard he tries, he'll never get anything right.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair tightens his hold on Cullen a little.







"Thank you for letting me do this." Soft. "It means a great deal."

[howtoactfereldan]

Another attempt to rally:

"Thought you'd enjoy the opportunity to gang up on me."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Nothing too terribly mortifying," he says, "and no ganging up on you."

He takes up rubbing Cullen's back again. Tries not to let too much of his worry peek through.

"You have my word."

[howtoactfereldan]

"I haven't seen them since I left for training." Detached; he's got to be detached, if he hopes to make it through the explanation. "And so whatever she might think -- she's writing to a stranger. She can't know the worst of it. Which, for the last ten years -- has been all of it. And I don't have the words to put a good face on any of it, because there isn't one. But you -- "

He catches a bit of Alistair's shirt in his fist.

"You can talk to anyone. I think -- you can do something for each other that... I'm not capable of doing."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Oh, Cullen."

He exhales the words, barely audible, before he realizes it. Alistair wraps both arms more snugly around him; rests his cheek on Cullen's hair.

(It's sympathy. It's aching, a little: that Cullen doesn't think himself capable, that -- much as Alistair doesn't want to admit it -- Cullen thinking himself incapable probably isn't inaccurate. It's wanting to argue, and knowing that he can't.)

[howtoactfereldan]

"It's not that bad," he protests faintly, more out of general principle than anything else. There's not much force behind it.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair hums a small, neutral mm: a cursory protest of his own, with just as little feeling.

He doesn't let go.

[howtoactfereldan]

Mumbled:

"If you were raised by dogs in the Anderfels, how'd you turn out as a barnacle?"

(But Cullen isn't pushing him away.)

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair cracks a smile.

"Funny story, that," he says, lighter. "I wandered a little too far from the pack one morning. Found a shipyard with rather a lot of boats in it. The barnacles on their hulls tried to convince me a life of lazing around stuck to things was a far better life than being a dog, and they aaaaaaaalmost managed it. The dogs found me a day later clinging to a boat."

[howtoactfereldan]

"A day as a barnacle was enough to undo years with dogs?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"I wanted to see the world, Cullen." Lofty. "What better way than by sticking yourself to a boat?"

Beat.

"Look, they were very persuasive barnacles."

[howtoactfereldan]

"I'd express doubt, but I'm reaping the benefits."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair laughs, low. "My well-rounded education wasn't just for me," he agrees.