[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

Skyhold gets quieter and quieter as the days move on. It's not a complete stand-down; there's cleanup to do, stragglers to round up, the same sort of business Alistair remembers from the months after the Blight. The Thaw, as Wardens call it. Thedas is thawing again, but the fortress only grows colder for it.

He won't lie: he'd feel warmer if Kieran and Morrigan were still there.

When Cullen suggests a vacation, Alistair lights up, only to deflate slightly when he realizes they'll be "vacationing" in Orlais. There's business to attend in Val Royeaux -- not the sort of business that'll keep Cullen occupied from sunup to sundown, but enough to require an in-person visit for a week or so. On the one hand: Orlais. On the other: he can't argue that time away from Skyhold, especially in Cullen's company, will help.

...So will the cheese, probably.

(Look, as Alistair has said many a time, he is a very predictable man.)

They room at a small place in the university quarter that's downright plain for Val Royeaux. Libraries for Cullen, a cafe around the corner for both of them, limited contact with people trilling about whatever stupid, petty scandal's hit the court this week -- it could be far worse. Alistair takes to writing his letters at the cafe, usually accompanied by some flaky pastry or another.

Today, they're cheese-filled. It's hard to descend too far into a personal funk when you've got a cheese-filled pastry.

Comments

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen laughs, too. "You think?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Just a smidge." He untangles one arm long enough to hold up two fingers a centimeter apart. "A tiiiiiny bit."

He says that with the amused fondness of one who means the exact opposite.

[howtoactfereldan]

Another soft laugh, and he resettles himself more comfortably against Alistair. "Good thing we've got another chance coming up, isn't it."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Very," he murmurs against Cullen's hair, as he winds his arms back around him. "I'm looking forward to it."

[howtoactfereldan]

A little hesitant:

"We can... give it a little more time first? Just wait a bit right here?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Of course."

A gentle squeeze.

"It's very comfy here."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen breathes out. And does the thing that isn't snuggling. Because he would never snuggle.







"That wasn't so bad, was it." Softer.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Not terribly," he murmurs in agreement. "You did well."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen snorts, loudly, stiffening. "I'd hardly call that well."

As always, the sharpest side of his tongue is reserved for his own failures.

"Choosing between cowardice by panic and cowardice by drink isn't well."

[bringspeopletogether]

"You think this was cowardice?"

He keeps his voice calm. Even. (Damn it, he'd been doing so well at not putting his foot in it.)

[howtoactfereldan]

"You don't?" Cullen retorts.

[bringspeopletogether]

"No. I don't."

He tips his head enough to look down at Cullen.

"I've some idea of how difficult this was. You did it anyway, even though it would have been far easier to just...not do it. That's no small thing, Cullen."

[howtoactfereldan]

Every retort Cullen can think of is a terrible one, and involves saying something harsh at Alistair when -- and Cullen knows this much, believes this much -- Alistair's been good about this when he didn't have to be.

So he swallows his words, and instead says nothing at all.

[bringspeopletogether]

That's...probably the best he could have hoped for, Alistair supposes.

He doesn't say anything more, either. Cullen just trusted him with something immensely important; he willingly opened himself to Alistair in a way he hardly ever does. Alistair won't dare ruin it by pushing too hard.

[howtoactfereldan]

His shoulders slump. His head lowers.

(In every command he's had, he's had soldiers like him. He's being harder on himself than he would ever be on them, and Cullen knows it.)








Low, unhappy:

"We've hit the part where I tell you that you'd be better off with someone else and I'm not worth this."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Which means it's also the part where I tell you I want to be here, and you're stuck with me until the end." Quiet. "You're worth everything to me, Cullen."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen shakes his head a little.

Glumly, he mutters, "At least I'm cycling through it more quickly."

[bringspeopletogether]

"You can take as much time as you need." A kiss to Cullen's temple. "I'll still be here."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen can't even stir himself to say something cross.

He slumps against Alistair, instead, head hitting his shoulder and closing his eyes, and doesn't say anything else.

[bringspeopletogether]

In fairly short order, Alistair takes to weaving his fingers through Cullen's hair again.





A dawning realization:

"You never did tell me that filthy Orlesian song you learned."

[howtoactfereldan]

He's a little more relaxed now, at least.

"Nor shall I," Cullen murmurs. "Far be it from me to corrupt the innocent."

[bringspeopletogether]

He snorts a tiny laugh. "Innocent, am I?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"Your Orlesian isn't anywhere as fluent as it could be. You wouldn't appreciate it properly."

That might have a hint of a ghost of a smile along with it.

[bringspeopletogether]

It's a start. Alistair's smile grows in response.

"Does that mean I'll have to brush up on terrible Orlesian puns and wordplay?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"Once you're good enough that Josephine and Leliana threaten to set you translating, I'll share the song."