[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

No Orlesian nobles pounded down their door to demand their hound back, so when Alistair and Cullen left Halamshiral, the newly-dubbed Gruyere happily trotted alongside their horses.

A few weeks after -- which included some quiet conversation, a few orders placed with a few merchants, and almost an entire extra pack of gifts slung over one of their mounts -- Gru just as happily trotted along as they turned for South Reach.

Years of correspondence led Alistair to build an elaborate image of Cullen's family in his mind; Mia, perhaps, more fully realized than the others, but everyone with a name and a voice to match their letters. They're...not wholly inaccurate? But Mia's definitely shorter than he expected, and one or two of the children a little louder.

(Mia's voice, however, adopts exactly the pitch he imagined it would when Alistair brings up the whole I'm-your-brother-in-law-now thing.)

It's a nice place. Just the right kind of rambunctious, with all the kids running around; just the right kind of homey.

If only Cullen weren't -- well, reacting more or less precisely how Alistair worried he'd react to the reunion.

Comments

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair watches him go, chewing on his lower lip.

Then, with a sigh, he goes to fetch a heating rune for the basin. Maybe if he's still soaking by the time Cullen gets back, he'll try to coax him into the tub, too.

[howtoactfereldan]

Cold well water isn't ideal, but it will do. Neither is having no towel, but his shirt can suffice.

It's best to just be quick, methodical, impersonal, rough.

(It's not good, having time to think.)



He's back in less than ten minutes, averting his eyes the instant he appears in the door.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair pauses midway through scrubbing one shoulder.




"Should I ask?" Quiet.

[howtoactfereldan]

"Need to see about changing the linen," he mutters, and goes for the bedroom.

[bringspeopletogether]

Well. That's his answer, he supposes.

Alistair sighs and returns to scrubbing. After a moment, he dunks himself under the water to wash his hair.

When he resurfaces, Gru has both paws on the edge of the basin, peering at him worriedly. Satisfied that his human isn't drowning, he licks Alistair's cheek, elicting a soft laugh. "Yes, I'm all right," he reassures him, scratching the mabari between the ears.

[howtoactfereldan]

There's a small chest in the bedroom that has linens. The more precisely Cullen moves, the more distant the feeling in his chest gets.

The bed is perfect. Cullen regards it for a moment, then sits on top.

[bringspeopletogether]

It doesn't take a whole lot longer for Alistair to finish up. He'll empty the basin later.

(He does make sure to tell Gru that the water is not a toy, though. Considering how much fun the mabari had splashing through that Orlesian fountain, he wouldn't be surprised to come back out here to find the whole tub upended.)

Drying off, he pulls his trousers back on and wanders to the bedroom.

[howtoactfereldan]

Sharp corners on the bed.

Cullen still sits on the chest, his eyes closed. His hands are clasped in his lap; he leans back against the wall.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair was planning to ask if Cullen needed a minute -- and, if so, go take Gru for a walk or something.

Cullen seems well in the depths of a minute right now.

Moving as quietly as he can, Alistair retreats from the bedroom, leaving the door open a crack. He won't disappear without telling Cullen; it's easy enough to play with Gru in the other room for a bit. Maybe he'll see to emptying the basin after all.

[howtoactfereldan]

It'll be dark soon. And then --

What's he supposed to do with the rest of this? What about tomorrow? Should he go help Bran? Would Bran welcome that?

He can feel his pulse quickening, and not in a good way.

[bringspeopletogether]

There's the quiet scuffling of paws in the other room, punctuated by a soft growl or boof every so often.

And, eventually, a whoosh of the basin being upturned outside the door.

Beyond that, both Alistair and Gru are behaving themselves -- though Alistair throws a glance to the bedroom door every few minutes, in spite of himself. A few more minutes, he decides, and then he'll poke his head back in there again.

[howtoactfereldan]

He should pull on a shirt.

He should -- do a lot of things.

A shirt is probably the simplest. Cullen gets to his feet, swaying a little, and pads over to his pack.

[bringspeopletogether]

The door eases open a little more.

Cullen's moving around. That's -- good.

"Hey," says Alistair, softly. "Do you need more of a moment?"

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen shakes his head. "I'm fine." Faintly.

He pulls the shirt over his head.

[bringspeopletogether]

He doesn't really look it, but -- Alistair has to take Cullen at his word.

He eases the door shut behind him. Crosses to the bed, taking a seat on its edge as he watches Cullen.



"Good thing there's a lot of spare linens," he offers, awkwardly.

[howtoactfereldan]

"I'll do the laundry tomorrow." Softly, without looking up.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair nods. He runs a fingertip over the crisp corner of the new linens.

"I'll try not to let Gru jump on me after he's rolled in the mud between now and then."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen nods and folds his arms as though cold.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Come here?"

Even softer, as he holds out a hand.

[howtoactfereldan]

He drifts closer. There's not far to go.

[bringspeopletogether]

Once Cullen is close enough, Alistair touches Cullen's elbow, lightly.

"I didn't want you to do all the work yourself," he murmurs. "But if you need to keep busy, I won't interrupt next time. I'm sorry."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen freezes.

Nods.




And sits next to Alistair, leaning his forehead against Alistair's shoulder, and nods again.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair wraps an arm around Cullen's shoulders, leaning his cheek atop his husband's hair.

His free hand seeks out one of Cullen's and twines their fingers together.

[howtoactfereldan]

Alistair isn't angry with him. That -- that's what matters. Alistair is his purpose. That should be all the purpose Cullen needs, until -- well.

Until it isn't an option any more.

(He could go to Cassandra, then. They don't need him here. They welcome him, but they don't need him.)

His shoulders hitch once -- but only once.

[bringspeopletogether]

"I love you," Alistair whispers. He rubs Cullen's shoulder, as if to quiet the hitching. "I love you so much."

We're going to get through this, he wants to say. It's all right.

But when the way through ends in Alistair's likely death -- well. It's not all right.