[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

The letter he finally sends is maybe a little more impolitic than it ought to be, but if he doesn't send something now, he'll still be writing when his Calling arrives.



Fiona,

Ivette Cousland is looking for you. The name might ring a bell. Hero of Ferelden? Slayed the Archdemon some years ago?

Anyway. She's not having any luck, so I thought I'd try my hand at getting in touch.

Cousland's been searching for a cure for the Calling these past five years or so; she even retired as Warden-Commander of Vigil's Keep so she could pursue her research better. She knows your leaving the Wardens wasn't like mine. You didn't just walk away from Weisshaupt: you managed to un-Join somehow, with no ill effects. You're our last, best lead on the matter, so you can understand why she's rather eager to speak to you. It's very likely she doesn't have much time left, what with it being almost a decade and a half since her Joining and living through a Blight.

Frankly, I don't expect I have much time left, either.

Cullen and I are in South Reach these days. I'll always know where to find Cousland, if you'd rather speak with her directly. For all our sakes, I hope you'll be in touch.

--Alistair





Two weeks later, a raven knocks its beak against their window frame.

This is a matter best discussed in person, says the note attached to its leg. I can be to South Reach by the end of the month.

It's signed only with the letter F. Alistair spends the next few hours talking up a nervous storm, hands digging in his hair, half anxious, half furious. (This is exactly what he didn't want: for her to read this as an overture. For her to think she could have any claim to Alistair's time, Alistair's space, outside of giving him and Cousland the information they needed.)

Then he writes a letter to Cousland and sends the raven on its way.

Comments

[howtoactfereldan]

“Too right,” Cullen agrees, and threads his fingers through Alistair’s hair. “All I do are the minor feats of domestic engineering. And those are far from ridiculous.”

[bringspeopletogether]

"True," he sighs, molding himself against Cullen. "Quite the opposite, really. That water pump has become one of the best features of the house."

Beat.

"Not counting your arse, of course."

[howtoactfereldan]

“Of course,” Cullen agrees. “Now, one might argue that my arse isn’t a feature of the house, so much as it is a feature of me.”

[bringspeopletogether]

"And a lovely feature at that." Serene. "It's always a feature of you, but could you argue that it's also a feature of the house whenever you're indoors?"

[howtoactfereldan]

“The house doesn’t have an arse. I do.”

Cullen punctuates this with a tug on a tuft of Alistair’s hair.

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair squirms, grinning.

"Bested by your impeccable logic as always." Cullen gets another kiss on the cheek. "All right, then the best feature of the house is most certainly the water pump."

[howtoactfereldan]

“With the bed following a close second.” Now Cullen gently ruffles Alistair’s hair.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Mm. Yes."

A beat passes, then, all innocence, Alistair adds, "Would you count the headboard as included in the bed, or its own feature worthy of a separate honor?"

[howtoactfereldan]

“Correct,” Cullen says, with an air of surprise. “Amended. With the headboard following a close second.”

[bringspeopletogether]

"Perfect," declares Alistair, and briefly squeezes Cullen for good measure. "This was a very important task, ranking the best things in the house. Thank you for the help."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen gives an exaggerated grunt, because that’s what happens when someone tries to crush you.

“You’re welcome,” he says, melodramatically strangled.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Oh dear. My apologies, so sorry -- "

Obediently, he loosens his grip.

"Better?"

[howtoactfereldan]

“I suppose,” he murmurs, and settles his hand more comfortably in Alistair’s hair. “It’s awfully hard to rest if you’re getting squeezed.”

[bringspeopletogether]

"And so often I don't know my own strength," he sighs. "I think it's a mere hug, and instead I almost crack a rib or five."

He stretches up into Cullen's hand, a little.

"It's terrible. I don't know how you put up with me."

[howtoactfereldan]

With his free hand he covers Alistair’s, on his chest.

“Oh, I don’t know. There are trade-offs.” Beat. “You are remarkably good at sitting around and looking pretty.”

[bringspeopletogether]

He snorts.

"I see. I've only been good for ornamental purposes this whole time. Nothing about my wit and charm and brilliant jokes?"

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen hms long, in obvious thought.

“Well, you’re rather good in bed, I suppose. That’s not strictly ornamental.”

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair heaves another dramatic sigh.

"Well, that's something," he says, and lets his eyes close. (He's not smiling -- quite as brightly anymore.) "I should be glad to be of service."

[howtoactfereldan]

“Alistair.”

Gentle; warm.

“I shouldn’t like to forget the part where I gave this stunted heart of mine into your keeping, and you’ve been the very staunchest steward. Coaxing it back to life.” Slowly stroking his hair. “No one else could have done it, you know. Much less with such patience and tolerance for a horrible bear like me.”

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair feels his throat threatening to cinch shut; he swallows, hastily, in an effort to clear it.

"It's been my honor." Only a little hoarse. "And it's..."

A small huff that isn't quite laughter.

"Mind-boggling, most days, that you've trusted me so much. To care for it."

[howtoactfereldan]

“And why wouldn’t I?” Still gentle. “No malice in you, and a great deal of diligence. Your displays of what you call ‘wit’ — ”

(This is punctuated with a squeeze of Alistair’s hand.)

“ — aren’t to set yourself above others, but to set others at ease. You love fiercely, with great loyalty. There could never be anyone else.”

Nor will there be, he thinks, and is grateful Alistair can’t see him close his eyes against the sudden pain.

[bringspeopletogether]

Why wouldn't I? Cullen says, and for an instant Alistair is terrified he might break down entirely.

It passes, but not quickly enough. Not before Alistair can stop himself from saying, "I still think -- "

Only then does he manage to bite his tongue.

[howtoactfereldan]

Not so easy to hear good things, is it.

“Mm?”

[bringspeopletogether]

He shakes his head. Tries to gather himself, with mixed success.





"Anything I say." Faint. "I don't want you to think you've failed me in, in some way. You haven't. Please believe that."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen stills.

No louder, half a question:

“All right.”