[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair surprises himself: he adapts to the Basin a lot quicker than he expected.

The camps feel -- snug, he decides. In a good way. Trees overhead, a limited number of egress points, a vantage point so high it puts every night by the ladder to shame: they're not the stone walls of Skyhold, but maybe they're the next best thing. After an initial restless night or two, he sleeps soundly.

(Knowing he's surrounded by lots of people with sharp, pointy weapons? Also helpful.)

Joining the patrol rotations seems like a decent next step. No point in being in the field, especially after all that training with Bull, if he's just going to twiddle his thumbs all day.

Comments

[howtoactfereldan]

"...could be worse."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Much," he agrees, and pulls back enough to kiss Cullen soundly.

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen threads his fingers through Alistair's hair, content.

(Three benefits: Alistair's happy, Mia gets the information she's after, Cullen doesn't have to struggle to come up with words beyond 'still alive.')

[bringspeopletogether]

Once the kiss breaks, Alistair murmurs, "You already told her about me, then?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"...some time ago, yes."

Cullen isn't sure whether he should be surprised Alistair's asking, or sheepish Alistair put the pieces together.

[bringspeopletogether]

His smile grows.

Light, "Did I earn any particularly embarrassing stories?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"Only at my expense." And isn't Cullen glad for that now. "I might have mentioned you dragged me to a tavern against my will to do something most people would call 'enjoying a drink.' Or that she shouldn't worry about whether I'm taking care of myself because I'm being monitored very closely."

[bringspeopletogether]

"I'll be sure to clarify that you enjoying that drink ended with me cursing about stairs, then."

He nestles close again.

"And that I'm glad to alleviate some of her worries."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen huffs a little, smiling, but doesn't contradict or protest.








"She doesn't know about the Fade," he says, after a moment. "And she doesn't know about the lyrium."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Ah."

Very soft, and without surprise. He knows how loath Cullen is to tell anyone about something so personal -- and Cullen's always extended that same courtesy to Alistair's private struggles.

(Well. Almost always. When the entire fate of the world isn't at stake, anyway.)

"I'll keep that to myself," he says, not much louder. "You don't have to worry."

[howtoactfereldan]

"I appreciate it."

Then, trying hard:

"She'd find someone going to Skyhold and get them to shake me on her behalf."

[bringspeopletogether]

"And we can't have that."

He squeezes Cullen, gently.

"Besides, that's my job. Only less shaking and more fussing. Maybe some cajoling as well."

[howtoactfereldan]

"Perhaps one day we'll finally arrive at silent acceptance." A halfhearted attempt at a smile.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Perhaps. Stranger things have happened, I'm certain."

(Alistair will probably still be fussing the day he leaves for his Calling.)

He touches his lips to Cullen's cheek. "I love you, you know."

[howtoactfereldan]

"I had an inkling." Cullen closes his eyes.







"And now -- you've seen what they've lost." Even softer. "That's enough worry and grief for one lifetime. I can't add to it."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair lets out a breath. He nods, after a moment.

That Cullen distancing himself from his family might cause them just as much worry and grief, if not more -- he's not going to bring up that old argument again. Especially when Cullen's finally letting himself reconnect beyond the short still alive letters, albeit through an intermediary.

It's something. A rather big something, really.

"I know."

[howtoactfereldan]

"You won't...?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Won't what?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"Make her worry?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Of course not," he murmurs. "The opposite, if I can help it at all. I want to make sure she doesn't have to worry about you."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen swallows, nods. He leans his head against Alistair's, eyes closed tight.

"I'm not -- " A little hoarse. "It's not why I asked if you wanted to do this. I wouldn't do that."

[bringspeopletogether]

"I know," he says again, no louder. Gently, he runs one hand along Cullen's back. "I know you wouldn't."

[howtoactfereldan]

"We're sitting by proof I prefer to handle my own correspondence." Trying, again.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Yes." A slight smile. "Mountains and mountains of it. Put it end-to-end and you wouldn't even need ravens. It'd stretch back to Skyhold all on its own."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen is self-aware enough to get better at recognizing when Alistair's penchant for hyperbole isn't a barb aimed at him. (It's almost never. Easy enough.)

So instead of saying but I have to, it's the job, he just nods a little, and tries to push down the feeling that no matter what he does, or how hard he tries, he'll never get anything right.