[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

The letter he finally sends is maybe a little more impolitic than it ought to be, but if he doesn't send something now, he'll still be writing when his Calling arrives.



Fiona,

Ivette Cousland is looking for you. The name might ring a bell. Hero of Ferelden? Slayed the Archdemon some years ago?

Anyway. She's not having any luck, so I thought I'd try my hand at getting in touch.

Cousland's been searching for a cure for the Calling these past five years or so; she even retired as Warden-Commander of Vigil's Keep so she could pursue her research better. She knows your leaving the Wardens wasn't like mine. You didn't just walk away from Weisshaupt: you managed to un-Join somehow, with no ill effects. You're our last, best lead on the matter, so you can understand why she's rather eager to speak to you. It's very likely she doesn't have much time left, what with it being almost a decade and a half since her Joining and living through a Blight.

Frankly, I don't expect I have much time left, either.

Cullen and I are in South Reach these days. I'll always know where to find Cousland, if you'd rather speak with her directly. For all our sakes, I hope you'll be in touch.

--Alistair





Two weeks later, a raven knocks its beak against their window frame.

This is a matter best discussed in person, says the note attached to its leg. I can be to South Reach by the end of the month.

It's signed only with the letter F. Alistair spends the next few hours talking up a nervous storm, hands digging in his hair, half anxious, half furious. (This is exactly what he didn't want: for her to read this as an overture. For her to think she could have any claim to Alistair's time, Alistair's space, outside of giving him and Cousland the information they needed.)

Then he writes a letter to Cousland and sends the raven on its way.

Comments

[bringspeopletogether]

"Mm."

Right after the kiss breaks, Alistair slips a hand behind Cullen's neck and kisses him again.

"I suppose." Serene. "On occasion."

[howtoactfereldan]

"On every occasion." Peaceful.

[bringspeopletogether]

He slides his hand -- still warm from the teacup -- around to Cullen's jaw in a light caress. "And you never disappoint," he murmurs.

[howtoactfereldan]

He leans into Alistair's touch. "I do try to be reliable."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair's smile grows.

He touches his forehead to Cullen's, simply resting there for now. Absently, he traces the pad of his thumb over Cullen's scar.

[howtoactfereldan]

"You're doing well. You know that." A little questioning.

[bringspeopletogether]

The smile twists at the corners, just a little.

"I'm doing my best," he says softly.

(The clear implication: my best doesn't feel good enough.)

[howtoactfereldan]

"I know." No louder. "And I know you're doing well."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Even though Ivette's doing all the work because I can barely put two civil words together when I'm around Fiona?"

He's wincing by the end of that.

[howtoactfereldan]

"Even so," Cullen agrees. "She's been hunting a cure for how long, now? You made it possible for her to interview a good source who has already produced a few leads to follow. She's not likely to give up control, after all that. You're doing her a favor, letting her run the show."

Pause. Then, lower:

"And if I thought she resented you for it, at all, I'd run her out of the arling myself."

[bringspeopletogether]

"No need to take it quite that far."

Alistair's smile has returned, steadied.

"A stern talking-to would suffice." He drops a brief kiss on the tip of Cullen's nose. "But I appreciate it."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen wrinkles his nose. It's the principle of the thing.

"I'm told I can manage stern every now and then."

[bringspeopletogether]

"I've heard rumors you can even be frightening when you set your mind to it."

[howtoactfereldan]

"Only when I haven't been sleeping well." He touches his forehead to Alistair's, closing his eyes.

[bringspeopletogether]

A soft laugh. "And we know how I feel about you not getting enough sleep."

He curls his hand around the back of Cullen's neck again.

"Stern will suffice."

[howtoactfereldan]

"No bears," Cullen agrees.

[bringspeopletogether]

Another chuckle. Gently, Alistair winds his fingers into the curls at the nape of Cullen's neck, closing his eyes in kind.





"You don't think me a coward, either, for...avoiding Fiona?"

Very quiet.

[howtoactfereldan]

"No." Immediate, and taken aback. "No. Of course not. That's your right."

Cullen links his fingers together at the small of Alistair's back.

"I think... it's possible you might regret not talking to her, later. But I don't think you're a coward."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair's mouth quirks at the corner, just for an instant: he's not so sure about the regrets part of that. But that's not the important bit.

He exhales, relieved, letting his head dip to rest on Cullen's shoulder.

[howtoactfereldan]

"You don't think you're a coward, do you?" he murmurs into Alistair's hair. "Why?"

[bringspeopletogether]

"Because talking to her should be such a simple thing." He doesn't open his eyes. "And I can't manage it."

[howtoactfereldan]

"Not knowing how to do something doesn't make you a coward." Low. Calm. Assured. "And as I recall, the last time you tried to have a conversation like this -- with someone who wasn't Kieran, at any rate -- it didn't go well at all."

Cullen tightens his arms around Alistair. "And it's not a simple thing. Maker's breath -- look at me with my siblings. It's not simple, even when no one's angry. We get caught up in wishing things could have been different and then we wind up not saying anything at all."

[bringspeopletogether]

He nods against Cullen's shoulder, a little.

"And all I want to say to her are the angry bits." Quiet. "Maybe I should, maybe if I get it off my chest it'll help, but it's just as likely it'll make things worse, isn't it."

[howtoactfereldan]

Wry, gentle:

"Maybe wait until she's done all she can for us. But then... why not?"

[bringspeopletogether]

He chuffs a faint laugh.

"Yes, let's not ruin over a decade of Ivette's hard work by making Fiona take her spells and go home right as we're getting somewhere."