[sandbox]

[bringspeopletogether]

No Orlesian nobles pounded down their door to demand their hound back, so when Alistair and Cullen left Halamshiral, the newly-dubbed Gruyere happily trotted alongside their horses.

A few weeks after -- which included some quiet conversation, a few orders placed with a few merchants, and almost an entire extra pack of gifts slung over one of their mounts -- Gru just as happily trotted along as they turned for South Reach.

Years of correspondence led Alistair to build an elaborate image of Cullen's family in his mind; Mia, perhaps, more fully realized than the others, but everyone with a name and a voice to match their letters. They're...not wholly inaccurate? But Mia's definitely shorter than he expected, and one or two of the children a little louder.

(Mia's voice, however, adopts exactly the pitch he imagined it would when Alistair brings up the whole I'm-your-brother-in-law-now thing.)

It's a nice place. Just the right kind of rambunctious, with all the kids running around; just the right kind of homey.

If only Cullen weren't -- well, reacting more or less precisely how Alistair worried he'd react to the reunion.

Comments

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen curls more tightly against him, and doesn't reply.

[bringspeopletogether]

If he asks, it might ruin the moment. But --






"What is it?" Even softer.

[howtoactfereldan]

Faintly:

"Anything this good won't last."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair breathes out.

"Perhaps not," he whispers. "But we can try to enjoy it while it does, can't we?"

[howtoactfereldan]

After a moment, Cullen nods.

"As long as you don't leave me for cards." He's trying.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Never."

He runs his hand up and down Cullen's spine, slow, meditative.

"Cards don't appreciate my jokes as much as you do."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen arches into his touch. "...is 'appreciate' the right word?"

(Trying takes a little less effort, apparently.)

[bringspeopletogether]

"Acknowledge, maybe," Alistair allows, smiling. He keeps up the steady strokes along Cullen's back. "Pay attention to instead of just laying on the table in silence."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen exhales, far more at ease. "That's accurate. I'll allow it."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Good," he murmurs, and drops another light kiss on Cullen's forehead.

All's quiet, for a few moments.






"I'm working on a letter to Fiona." No louder. "To -- see if she might help. With the Calling business."

[howtoactfereldan]

Well. Cullen's certainly awake now.

"Do you think -- she would?"

He can't stop himself from feeling hopeful. He also can't stop himself from feeling as though this is a last-ditch effort, so it's stupid to hope.

[bringspeopletogether]

"She might."

He tucks his chin over the top of Cullen's head.

"If I can -- I don't know. I don't want her to think I'm reaching out because I want to be her son, but I've a feeling she won't help unless it's out of some familial obligation." A crooked, humorless smile. "Half the drafts I burned had things like 'I still don't like you' and 'no I don't forgive you' in there."

[howtoactfereldan]

"Fair," he mumbles. "She still -- well. There are favors to call in. If it would help convince her."

[bringspeopletogether]

Huh.

"What sort of favors?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"The kind that Josephine is best suited to remind her of." Still mumbled.

[bringspeopletogether]

"Mm."

It's not like the Calling is a secret anymore after what Corypheus did. Still, some vestigial part of Alistair's Warden instincts winces at the thought of involving more people than strictly necessary.

"Could start with writing to Fiona and write to Josie if we need to?"

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen nods against Alistair's chest.







'Don't worry about me."

Even more quietly.

"If they'll accept someone who doesn't say much, I can be here. When you go. They'll look after me."

[bringspeopletogether]

Alistair's eyes sting, abruptly. He squeezes them shut.

Words fail him for the moment; all he can do is hug Cullen tighter.

[howtoactfereldan]

"Because it's bad. Isn't it. If you're relying on her."

[bringspeopletogether]

"Cousland hasn't found anything else."

Barely audible.

"The best lead before this was -- I think a Dalish girl up north who managed to clean the taint from a fragment of glass, or something like that. But it wouldn't be enough."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen tightens his hold on Alistair; a perverse sense of calm washes over him. This was always temporary.

"Well."

Matter of fact. (Or trying for it.)

"There never was much reason to hope."

[bringspeopletogether]

"We still have time."

The lump in his throat is thickening.

"We'll enjoy as much of it as we can. Even after it starts it -- won't get bad enough to destroy me for a few months. And if Fiona won't help for my sake maybe she'll help for Cousland's."

[howtoactfereldan]

Maybe Alistair needs this. Needs to pretend. Cullen oughtn't to take that from him.

So he just nods.

[bringspeopletogether]

"I love you," he whispers. "I'll stay until the end, no matter when it comes. And -- I'm so grateful you gave this to me. Us. This."

[howtoactfereldan]

That... makes him very --

Angry. It makes Cullen angry. As though all of this was an object, a thing that will stay intact once Alistair turns his back on Cullen and descends into the ground to die alone, in pain, in the dark.

But saying so won't help anything. So instead, he nods and stays silent.